In a few recent posts, I’ve made references to a super secret project I’ve been working on. Today I’m going to tell you about that project.
First, here’s a brief history of QAGS for those of you who aren’t familiar: sometime in the late 90s, I wanted to come up with a quick system that we could use for one-shot games without having to spend an hour making characters and looking up stuff on tables. I made up some rules and ran a couple of games with them, but didn’t do much with them until Leighton and I got the hairbrained idea to start a game company. Since the “real” game system I was working on (a complete monstrosity that will never be published) wasn’t even close to being ready, we decided to publish the simple little candy-based system. Since the system would only take a few pages to explain, we decided to fill the rest of the book with jokes and dumb stuff. That turned into the first edition of QAGS, which we published in 1998.
Over the next few years, we realized that in order to sell a game, you actually have to run it from time to time, and in the process we discovered that QAGS actually worked surprisingly well for what we wanted to do in an RPG. We started using it for our regular games and thinking of it as a “real” game system. When we moved up to printing real books, the digest-sized core rulebook with the cardstock cover that we’d printed at a shop one step up from Kinko’s just didn’t cut it anymore, so we started working on QAGS Second Edition. Q2E came out in 2003 and while we kept the general tone and some of the jokes from the first edition, we also added a lot of stuff to make it a more complete and usable game system.
When you run and write for a game for 12 years, you inevitably start to notice the flaws. With QAGS, there are some mechanical problems, but the biggest flaw is that making the system work requires buying into a certain style of play and, while the GM advice in Q2E does a good job of explaining this style, the only things in the system that really support it are the overall simplicity and the use of Yum Yums. Otherwise, the system is representative of games from that time period, and some of the rules we added to the second edition are really there more because at the time they were things a game was “supposed to have” than because they add anything to the gaming experience.
Since the system and the play style aren’t as intertwined as they should be, playing QAGS with someone who doesn’t really get it can turn out badly. Part of the problem is the humor in the rulebook. Most gamers approach “silly” and “serious” games differently, so they’re fine using QAGS with something like Sharktoberfest or Funkadelic Frankenstein, but when you try to use QAGS for non-comedic games, they get confused. Either they’ve mentally tagged QAGS as a “funny” game so they ruin the story by trying to be wacky or they shift into a more simulationist “serious game” mode and start trying to bring a level of crunch to the system that just isn’t there.
As you’ve probably guessed by now, I’ve been playing around with ideas for a third edition of QAGS for a while. Initially, the idea was to fix the mechanical eccentricities, streamline some things, and provide more support for campaign play (the experience system in Q2E is fiddly and weird, and that’s coming for the guy who wrote it). Eventually it hit me that the real goal should be to bring the rules more in line with the style of play we’re trying to promote, so I started completely overhauling the system.
At some point, the game system I was working on stopped being QAGS. The QAGS roots are still there, but there are so many changes that it’s really not the same game anymore. A new edition of QAGS that’s barely identifiable as QAGS presents some (mostly marketing-related) problems. The first is that we have close to 50 QAGS supplements out right now, so releasing a third edition that’s vastly different from the current rules set would mean rendering those supplements obsolete until we got around to rewriting them. The other is that there are a lot of our existing games work perfectly with Q2E. QAGS works great for beer and pretzels one-shots, for example, because the kinds of things the new system does better are things you just don’t need for something like Fratboys Vs. The systems are also different enough that some people will probably simply prefer QAGS over the new system, and we don’t want to lose the people who are perfectly happy with the game they’ve already got.
Long story short, instead of releasing a third edition of QAGS, we’re working on a whole new game system, which right now we’re calling “Cinemechanix.” Second Edition will remain the current version of QAGS, and will still be supported. New products will be released using whichever system works best for the goals of the game (or the author’s preference, if both systems are equally appropriate). The first Cinemechanix setting will be M-Force, which means those of you who have been patiently waiting for the new edition are going to have to wait a little longer. We apologize for that, but I think it will be a much better game with the Cinemechanix rules. As we get time, we’ll also be releasing new versions of some of the existing QAGS games that we think will benefit from the new rules, starting with Hobomancer.
We don’t really have a timeline for this yet. As most of you probably know, we do all the Hex stuff in our spare time, so real life can really slow down our release schedule. Since real life has been punching us all in the dick a lot over the last few years, new releases have been few and far between lately. These sorts of slowdowns have happened before (and will probably happen again), so those of you who have been around for a while know the drill. As always, thanks for being patient while we work to get things moving again.
The first draft of Cinemechanix just needs a few more chapters to be ready to playtest. We’re planning to do more playtesting than usual for this one before we start moving toward an actual release, so the timeline will depend on how well that goes (if you want in on the playtesting, contact me through the usual channels, or through the Hex web site if you don’t have usual channels). Now that we’ve told you it’s happening, I can also talk about it here, so watch this space if you’re curious about the new system.
In the meantime, we’ve got a few QAGS supplements that are ridiculously close to being ready for release. Carter’s been whipping the third installment of American Artifacts into shape, Ian’s Three Musketeers Game, And One For All, is being edited right now, and the Comprehensive Soldier supplement for Qerth is 95% written. Once we finish up the text, get the art, and do the layout, you’ll be able to own them yourself for some ridiculously low price. If you want to be among the first to know when we get them done, like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, or join the QAGS community on Google Plus.
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Supporters at the $3 or higher level will get advance access to the Cinemechanix playtest draft.
Want some Hobomancer T-Shirts, Happy d20 Keychains, or other Hex swag? Good news. We've got a store at Zazzle now where you can order all sorts of Hex merchandise. I'll personally be picking up some Hobomancer playing cards in the near future.
If you read last week's blog, you saw how I'd run a trashy 80s fantasy version of My Fair Lady directed by the South Park guys. For that one, I had plenty of time to think about the basics and work out the details. Usually you don't have that luxury, so this week I'm going to share an example of running a randomly generated premise in real time.
At Archon over the weekend, I ran a Players' Choice game, which means the players get to decide what game I run for them. Since it was Sunday morning at a con that hands out free booze and nobody's brain was firing, they decided to leave it up to The Book of Dumb Tables, which the Random One-Shot script is based on. We rolled on both sets of tables and the players picked the one from The Book of Dumb Tables 2, which was "A Dark Comedy Version of A Christmas Carol as directed by The Coen Brothers." Since there were three players, we decided that it made sense for theme to play the three ghosts and they started making their characters.
That's when I realized that the obvious story for this concept wouldn't work for an RPG. Most people, upon hearing the premise, would expect the plot structure of A Christmas Carol set in a Coen Brothers world with Coen Brothers humor and tone, but each ghost in the Dickens story "stars" in its own vignette of the story, which is exactly the opposite of how RPGs work. So the first step in making the premise work was throwing out the structure you'd naturally expect. Luckily, the core plot of "three ghosts redeem a bad guy" still works. The ghosts are just working as a group, not a three-man tag team.
With the Dickens element covered, I needed to decide how to work in the "dark comedy" and "Coen Brothers" bits. Since the Coen brothers tend toward dark comedy, I decided to focus on the Coens. Many of their movies feature supernatural (or seemingly supernatural) elements in a stylized but mostly mundane world. O Brother, Where Art Thou is full of mythical creatures, Hudsucker Proxy has a magical clockman and an angel, The Man Who Wasn't There has UFOs, and even the Warthog from Hell in Raising Arizona and The Dude could easily be interpreted as not-quite human. Since the game had at least some kind of Christmas theme, we decided that the characters would spend their downtime working in the place where (the modern American version of) the Christmas spirit is alive year-round: the fucking mall, temple of disastrous consumerism.
The introduction of the story was brief, but the players threw in enough flavor to hint at a hellish ghostly bureaucracy that might be fun to play around with at a later date. For example, one of the ghosts had recently been promoted to Christmas ghost and was previously the Ghost of Tax Audits Future, so she was determined to do well on her first assignment out of fear of being sent back to the Eternal Revenue Service. Once the characters were established, I had to give them their assignment.
Since the game was set in modern day America, my first instinct for a Scrooge with lots of dark comedy potential was Donald Trump, and since all three players had been in my M-Force game the day before and didn't seem like raving racists, I felt reasonably safe that I wouldn't offend anyone by going with The Donald. Luckily I was right and once they realized that Trump was far too obstinate to change his ways because some ghosts kept him up at night, the players managed to convince the aliens who had put that thing on Trump's head that they could mine Earth for plastic without destroying humanity (It makes sense when you've got all the details. Trust me on that). It ended up being a short game (less than two hours), but the players seemed to enjoy themselves, I had fun, and it was very different from the average convention game, which is exactly what randomly-generated premises are supposed to be.
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Do you want to hear me talk about Hobomancer? You’re in luck, because the Game School podcast where I do just that came out a week or so ago. Also, the Hex crew will be at Archon this weekend. If you’re going and want to come to our panels or games, the schedule is on the QAGS Facebook page.
For this week’s blog, I decided to randomly generate a game idea using the One-Shot Game Concept Generator, then describe how I’d run it. The two concepts the script gave me were “the PCs are priests who work as super-heroes who are opposed by demons” and “A trashy 80s fantasy version of My Fair Lady as directed by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.” Since the first one is basically the plot of Battle Pope, I decided to go with option number two.
It’s up to the players how closely they want the characters to resemble the cast of My Fair Lady (I’m going to use the character names here to keep things simple), but Parker and Stone need to be the WWPHITM? for the Higgins and Pickering roles (I’d probably cast Parker as Higgins, but could see it going either way). In this version, they’re noble knights rather than linguists. Since the PCs are an adventuring party, the roles of Higgins' mother and the housekeeper would be filled by other party members. I’d make the funny little guy who’s in all the Parker & Stone movies Higgins’ squire. Eliza could work as either a PC or an NPC.
Ten years ago, the young Princess of Pygmaila was kidnapped by agents of the Witch King of Kromdor (who is METAL AS FUCK). After years of searching, two brave knights (Higgins and Pickering) believe they’ve discovered the keep where the princess is being held. As the game begins, the party is preparing to assault the keep and rescue the princess. Just in time, too: according to a not-at-all-contrived-for-pacing prophecy, the kingdom will fall into ruin if the princess does not return home by her 18th birthday, which is right around the corner.
You can play through the raid on the keep if you really want, but I’d probably open the game just as the PCs have freed the princess and are facing off against the level boss and his minions so they can make their escape. During the battle, the princess needs to die. Since it’s a Parker and Stone movie, it would be really appropriate for a PC to accidentally kill her or at least indirectly cause her death. Also, make sure there’s a big fire. It’ll be important later.
Following the princess’s untimely demise, our brave party decides to drown their sorrows in booze and women at the nearest inn while they try to decide what to do next. If the king finds out what happened, they’ll probably be executed. As thy sit around feeling sorry for themselves, they can’t help but notice that one of the bar wenches/dancing girls/whores (depending on how Deathstalker you want to take things) bears a striking resemblance to the princess. Since the characters don’t want to die (and since the player presumably know the premise of the game), it shouldn’t be much of a leap for them to decide to try to pass the barmaid off as the princess.
Of course, that’s easier said than done. For starters, the proprietor of the inn (who may either be her father or an employer she’s indentured or enslaved to) isn’t going to let her go with the PCs without compensation for his loss. She also has a lover who doesn’t want her to go. Even more problematic is that she’s a commoner who doesn’t know anything about courtly etiquette or being a princess or covering her cleavage (it is trashy 80s fantasy). In addition to dodging the Witch King’s minions (since the real princess’s body was destroyed in the fire, they’re going to assume Eliza is the princess and her shabby clothing and unladylike behaviour is an attempted disguise) and other dangers of the road in order to get her home in time for the princess’s birthday, the party has to teach Eliza to be a proper princess. If you’re not lucky enough to have players who embrace the idea of playing adventurers running a finishing school, you can focus mostly on the dangers they encounter during the journey (but you’ll probably miss out on some great gaming).
Assuming the party makes it back to the castle in time, they’ll have to convince everyone that Eliza is the princess. The real test will come at the birthday feast, where the party will have to deal with Zoltan, a rival knight who just knows the PCs are up to something; the innkeeper, who has used the money he got from the PCs to buy his way into the nobility and is threatening to expose the ruse; Eliza’s lover, who wants her back; and possibly Eliza herself, who may want to just go back to her simple life in the hinterlands of Kromdor. As the PCs try to juggle all of this so they don’t get their heads chopped off, hilarity should ensue. Also, musical numbers.
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If you don't read the Playing D&D With Porn Stars blog, Zak's in the first round of something called the Thought Eater tournament where two anonymous people get assigned a topic and write about it, blog readers vote for the best one, and the winner moves on to the next round. So far there have been some pretty good entries. There will probably be more. You should read it and vote for the ones you like. I bet some of those anonymous writers would appreciate your vote.
As you may have heard, Netflix has announced a reboot of the ground-breaking TV sitcom, Full House. Since that makes Full House kind of topical, and since my brain is fried and I can't think of anything to write about, this seems like a good time to repost my review of the Full House board game from an old incarnation of The Death Cookie:
I usually don't pay a lot of attention to the dealer's room at conventions. For the most part, it's the same crap you find at every game/comic shop in the world. So I usually take a quick walk-through, decide there's nothing there I need, and go about my business. Lucky for me, Hex Marketing Director Carter Newton is more thorough. He's the one who first noticed that the dealer across the aisle from the Hex booth had a NEAR MINT copy of The Full House Board Game.
After sending Ross Fulton over to inquire about the price, I was amazed to find that the dealer was willing to part with the game for a measly five bucks. Though I felt a bit guilty paying such a low price for such a sought-after game, I realized that if I didn't snatch it up, someone else would.
During the game you travel around the board to places like the movie theater, the school, the park, and the TV station. At each location, you draw a card. Some have instructions that move you to other locations, or allow you to take cards from other players (how rude!). Most, however, feature pictures of members of the extended Tanner family: DJ, Stephanie, Danny, Michelle, Jesse, Becky, and the Twins. The object of the game is to get character cards for all six family members and "bring them all home for a Full House."
If you're a fan of the show like I am, you'll notice that Joey is conspicuously missing from the character cards. Don't worry--while the instructions don't make it explicit, it soon becomes clear that you're playing Joey. The most obvious clue is that some of the spaces instruct players to "Tell A Joey Joke." Don't worry--the makers of this game realize that not everyone can be as funny as Dave Coulier, so they've provided a set of Joey Joke Cards. If you land on a joke space, you draw a card and tell the joke. The set includes such classics as: "My uncle stayed in college so long, when he graduated they gave him a gold watch." Funny, Funny Stuff!
Try as I might, I have yet to convince someone to play the game with me, so I can't really comment on gameplay, but the basic design looks good. There are, however, a few problems. For one, some cards allow you to take character cards from another player, which goes against the spirit of the show--if you've ever seen a single episode, you know that it's wrong to take things that don't belong to you. Also, eventually someone's going to win the game, which could make the other players feel bad. They could have solved both of these problems by letting all the players take turns moving the same game piece and sharing whatever cards get collected. That way, everybody wins! If the designers insist on a competitive game, they should have at least included a "Winner Hugs All" rule.
While I have a few minor complaints about the game, I'm going to give it 5 stars. The designers made the best board game they could, and that's all we can really ask. The Tanner family taught me that.
When we were working out how the songlines work in Hobomancer, we sort of unintentionally started playing with the idea of what you might call "the power of place." Basically, the songlines are areas of especially strong magical energy, and that magic is fueled by the power of the stories. The railroads aren't built along songlines, they create them by virtue of the number of stories that happen along them. Bad stories (we give the Trail of Tears as an example in the book) create corrupted songlines that can warp the people, the landscape, and especially the magic used along them.
Either shortly before or shortly after we released Hobomancer, I read Alan Moore's Voice of the Fire, which is a hard-to-describe novel where Moore's home town of Northampton is kind of the central character. The book articulated some of the sorts of ideas that we'd tried to pin down with the songlines and really got me thinking about the idea of making place a more integral part of game settings. Just like Serenity is the 10th character on Firefly, I like the idea of a game where the setting is vital to the story rather than just something that provides a little flavor. The new edition of M-Force that we're working on devotes a fair amount of space to developing the setting, but there it's more about discouraging murderhobos than making setting an integral part of the story.
Anyway, somewhere in all this thinking about place, I came up with an idea that I'm probably not going to get a chance to run any time soon (it wouldn't really work as a one-shot con game), so I'm throwing it out here in case anyone wants to give it a try. The idea is basically Quantum Leap meets Danny the Street. The PCs live in a neighborhood that periodically transports itself to other cities, other points in time, or even other realities (depending on how far you want to take it). Most of the people in the neighborhood don't even notice--they think they've always lived in whatever place they're in right now--but the PCs do, possibly because they're important in some way to whatever's causing the neighborhood to keep moving around. If I were running the game, I'd probably disguise it as something else (probably a paranormal investigation game) and keep the city in one place for the first few sessions. That way you can establish a sort of baseline of what the neighborhood is like and who its inhabitants are so the changes mean something. Once the neighborhood starts moving, the players need to figure out some basics about what's going on pretty quickly so they have a reason to either help (if the neighborhood is on the side of good) or interfere (if the neighborhood is evil) with whatever the neighborhood's goal is. Don't ask me what that is; if I knew, I'd be writing this up as a game supplement.